In Defense of Internal Cum Shots

Yes, Virginia, you can fake external cumshots.

“Creampie” is probably my most-searched porn tag, after “daddy.” Much as in real life, I want to watch a hot top breed his bottom, to make him fully aware of his place. And one of my favorite scenes has long been watching LeGrand Wolf cumming inside Austin Armstrong, the boy bent over the exam table during a routine doctor’s visit, in “Daddy’s Little Boy: Tape #3.”

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that some people don’t love what they term “internal cum shots” (I’m concerned by the phrasing, but I will persevere and use it if I must). Apparently, some people prefer seeing cum splatter on someone. Apparently, some people think that cumming inside a tight hole is just a quick way to fake a cumshot. (Not most Carnal Media fans, as it turns out, many of whom have written in begging for the tops to stop pulling out.)

I have devastating news for some people: You can also fake a cumshot splatter. Years ago, I worked as a production assistant for a well-known porn company, and one of my regular tasks was to make sure we were fully stocked on bottles of Cetaphil lotion (oddly enough an ex-boyfriends favorite lube to jerk off with). I stacked them in our porn pantry at the office. I packed them for location shoots. And occasionally, I had to fill a condom with some of that lotion and hand it to the poor performer who was struggling to cross the finish line. Maybe it was a hot day and we’d had to turn off the air-conditioning to film because of the noise. Maybe he just wasn’t feeling it with his scene partner. Or maybe it was just taking too long and the director wanted to eat lunch already.

Whatever the reason, I’d hand off the condom with a small hole cut in the tip and the model would hide it in his hand, pump his fist up and down his dick a few times, and, moaning all the while, squeeze the lotion out of the condom. No one knew the difference, and the director got to finally eat his BLT.

More importantly… did the guys you are watching just have hardcore, penetrative sex? Yes! Are you so concerned with anatomical and biological accuracy that you want to inspect every man’s orgasm to make sure it is effective?(Keeping in mind that the biological imperative behind cumming is to make a woman pregnant, which is definitely not happening in the videos you’re watching.)

Personally, I’d rather see a hot top totally own his bottom with an internal cum shot that he can feel but we can’t see than shoot my load to a trickle of Cetaphil, but all are welcome here!

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About Mark Durane More Articles
When he was a little boy, Mark's mother set the house on fire. (She was like that.) He'll never forget the look on his father's face as he gathered him up in his arms and raced through the burning building onto the pavement below. And he stood there, shivering in his pajamas, and watched the whole world go up in flames. And when it was all over, he said to himself, "Is that all there is to a fire?"
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