Who Is Crowned Our Next Great Cock Destroyer in the ‘Slag Wars’ Finale?

What will their duties include? How long will they serve? Will we get another season? (God, please?)

Remember the teaser for the Slag Wars finale at the end of Episode 3, featuring people crying, and ambulance sirens? None of that happened. It wasn’t even hinted at. End of the day? Not important.

We did have some drama, though! Cameron was resurrected from the dead and re-inserted into the competition, which is wonderful, because Cameron is sassy and funny and the only one with enough plastic surgery to really whore it up with Sophie and Rebecca. I thought, for a second, that all of the contestants were coming back—so did some of the other contestants—but that turns out to be moot. So does the Cameron thing, because he basically resigns at the final Golden Lips ceremony.

And so does Nicky! After a heartfelt monologue about how being pulled into the Cock Destroyer / Daddy Couture TM brand had her life saved from depression, addiction, and suicidal thought, she says someone else should experience that change. It was a little Spartacus, with all of these very worthy contestants giving up a made-up title, just a little anticlimactic. But that’s always the pitfall of a reality TV series finale. When I binge America’s Next Top Model, I usually skip the last episodes. Who cares who wins, really? It’s all made up, and the drama kinda dies when there aren’t as many contestants. And the fashion show is always so boring.

This was kind of the same. No foreplay challenge this week, so we skip right to the passion project, a music video for the long version of the theme song. But we don’t get much of it on camera, unfortunately. (I’m not sure what happened on the production side of things for this final episode. I’m just rooting for the show to do well, even when it’s not perfect.)

We spend a lot of time going over what this has meant for our contestants, and what they’re building as a community. And, ok, that’s actually what is important. Ending the stigma of sex work. Bringing everybody into the community and encouraging people to be the Destroyer they see in themselves. We’re also just honored to get a show this genuinely gay. It’s something to celebrate. I mean, come on, tarot card readings for the finalists? That’s so gay. I’m glad to see it on TV. And I’ll be glad to see where it goes, especially with a new Cock Destroyer in the mix (whatever that means):

Tyreece!

We have to redact an earlier statement made that none of these slags could work a pole. Was all of this footage included in the first episode? Tyreece most certainly can work a pole. Which comes as no surprise with that rock-solid core and the splits. They have the stamina and the flexibility to destroy all kinds of cocks, and they serve as a huge role model for non-binary friends everywhere that deserve to win. Well done, Tyreece! One has to wonder where this is going, or what all of this even means. Will Tyreece star in viral videos? Will we get more of this show? I really hope so. And I hope they get more money and support and uh… camera operators and stuff. I’ll be rooting for it either way! I love the Cock Destroyers, and I’m glad this was some of our final TV culture in a very, very, strange year.

About JV Marx More Articles
JV Marx is a poet, performer, and raunchy kinkster camboy.
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